There is something people constantly try to avoid. Not because they do not know, but because they deeply feel it. And what they feel is often the exact opposite of what they want to believe. That is where the space for lies is created. Not the spoken kind, but the lived kind. Quiet, everyday, wrapped tightly in normality.
Love without a future is exactly that kind of lie. It looks like a relationship. It has form, words, and routine. It has messages, touches, and plans that are never realized. Promises that hang in the air remain strong enough to keep someone there, but never concrete enough to come true. And in that space between what is and what will never be, tension is inevitably created. Consequently, a dog does not live in the story. A dog lives directly in the field.
When that woman came to me, she did not come because of a bad marriage or a lack of love. Instead, she came because of her dog. It is always like that. People rarely come because of the truth. They come because of symptoms. Her dog was mounting her leg. Not occasionally. Not randomly. But persistently, almost obsessively, as if it were trying to release something it could not express otherwise. And that was the focus.
Sterilization did not help, even though most of you reading this probably thought of that first. Two veterinarians and a trainer advised her to sterilize the dog, which she did, because it seemed logical. And perhaps it is logical when we observe symptoms in a linear way.
Symptom or Message: What Is the Dog Really Saying?
In the classical approach, experts would explain this through energy, dominance, or excitement. Therefore, she was also advised to walk the dog more, to tire it out, to correct it, to ignore it. All of that sounds logical. And all of it completely misses the point.
Because the dog was not trying to “behave.” The dog was trying to communicate. In the order of harmony, especially in work with systems where the dog is not separate from the human but deeply connected to their inner state, such behavior carries weight. It does not come from the dog, but through the dog. Mounting is a physical expression of sexual energy that is not in its place, a suppressed, misdirected, destructive sexuality. This is a sentence that sounds uncomfortable to most people. However, discomfort does not mean it is not true.
When sexual energy moves outside of its natural flow, when it does not belong to the relationship in which it should exist, it becomes wrapped in a system of lies and seeks a way to express itself. If people cannot or do not want to face it, something else will do it for them. Very often, that is the dog.
In that specific case, there was love without a future. A relationship that was not acknowledged, not defined, that had no place. Perhaps an affair. Perhaps an emotional connection that remained hidden. Perhaps a relationship that should have ended but did not. Such “love” does not disappear. It remains in the field. And it seeks a way out.
Truth and Love Without a Future Surface Through the Dog
The dog is often that outlet. It did not understand “who is with whom.” It did not know about marriage, fidelity, or social norms. But it felt the tension. It felt energy that had no place. And through its body, it tried to regulate it. That is why it was mounting. Not because it was “badly behaved,” but because it was accurate.
When I told her that either she or her husband had someone else, a lover, I did not say it to provoke her. I said it because the field had already shown it. The dog had already shown it. She reacted like most people do when truth touches them before they are ready. With resistance. With anger. She left, convinced I did not know what I was talking about, insisting that her marriage was perfect and that everything in her life was fine.
The Dog as a Mirror: He Sees Us as We Truly Are
Is This the End of Grooming as We Know It?
The moment we stop seeing the dog as a problem and see it as a signal, everything changes.
But truth has one quality that no lie has. It does not disappear. It can be ignored, suppressed, rationalized. But it remains. And sooner or later, it surfaces. Six months later, it did. Her husband was having an affair. Their marriage had become a relationship without a future. A connection that could not become anything more, yet was strong enough to disrupt everything that existed. They divorced. He left.
And what is most interesting to someone who does not understand how this works, the dog stopped mounting on the very same day her now ex-husband left the apartment. Without a single intervention. Without training. Without “behavioral work.” Why? Because there was no longer a lie to expose.
The Dog as a Mirror of Inner Integrity
When the system integrates, when things are placed where they belong, the dog no longer needs to speak. Its role in that context ends. And this is where we arrive at something most people do not want to accept. The dog as a mirror does not reveal lies because it “knows the truth.” It reveals them because it cannot not feel them.
Unlike a human, who can live between what they feel, what they say, and what they live, a dog is always in unity with what is. That is why it becomes a mirror. Not of what you want to see, but of what you are trying to hide.
Love without a future always carries tension. Because deep inside, we all know when something has no direction. When it has no movement. When it has no place in time. That is when we begin to live in the illusion of maintaining something. But the system does not support that. It seeks order. It seeks clarity. It seeks truth.
If we do not bring it consciously, it will emerge unconsciously. Through conflict. Through illness. Through behavior. Or through a dog that begins to mount its owner’s leg. That is why the question is never what the dog is doing. The question is what the dog is showing.
Because the moment we stop seeing the dog as a problem and begin to see it as a signal, everything changes. Not because we “fixed the dog,” but because we finally saw what was already there. And that is always the beginning of change. And the end of the lie.
And you know what was perhaps the most “interesting” part of this whole story, the woman found her husband with her close friend in their marital bed one morning when she unexpectedly returned home from a trip a day earlier to surprise him for his birthday. And she truly surprised him.
To discover more about how emotional alignment, balanced lifestyle, and authentic energy restore internal balance, read our canine emotions guidelines.
See you next time.
At Sasha Riess, we look past commercial labels to honor the unique biological blueprint of your companion. True health requires addressing the subtle internal patterns that create lasting vitality and pureloveandharmony. Discover the customized path to your dog’s longevity:Linktree Sasha Riess
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