by Sasha Riess | 13.04.26. | Behaviour
Should a happy, well-adjusted dog let everyone pet or pick them up? In a recent episode of “1000 Whys – 4 Truths,” a dog owner shared her concern: her dog growls and snaps whenever someone tries to lift him. This raises a deeper question: why should anyone touch a dog if the dog doesn’t want to be touched?
A Dog Is Not a Toy
Many owners unconsciously see their dogs as beings that “must be nice to everyone.” But that belief often reflects our own conditioning — the need to please, to always appear kind and agreeable, even when we feel otherwise inside. When we project that onto our dogs, we expect them to behave the same way — calm, polite, and endlessly patient. Yet, a dog is not an extension of our personality. A dog is a sentient being with boundaries, memories, and emotions of its own.
Pack, Family, and Boundaries
A dog is a social being — but when living with humans, the “pack” becomes a family system with different rules. A wolf pack consists of parents and their offspring. Our families with dogs are not packs — they are interspecies groups built on emotional connection and a sense of safety.
For the dog, the human represents that safety. When the family lacks harmony — when parents don’t respect each other, or the home is filled with tension — the dog feels it deeply. In such an environment, the dog doesn’t know whom to rely on, and this uncertainty often manifests as growling, snapping, or avoiding touch.
Change Creates Insecurity
When guests visit or a new family member arrives, the dog must “remap” its social world. If there’s no stable, trusted figure, the dog can’t relax. Each change in the household forces the dog to find its place again. In balanced families, where respect and emotional clarity exist, the dog feels calm and secure. But in unstable relationships, where roles and boundaries blur, the dog can’t be stable — because no one else is.
Why the Dog Doesn’t Want to Be Picked Up
If a dog growls when someone tries to lift them, it’s rarely aggression — it’s fear or loss of control. They might have been hurt before, mishandled, or traumatized as puppies. Or they may simply dislike being restrained.
Dogs also mirror their owners’ unresolved emotions. If a person has experienced abuse — emotional or physical — and hasn’t fully healed, the dog can reflect that energy through defensive behaviors. It’s not coincidence. Dogs perceive our energy and subconscious patterns. When the owner begins to heal and integrate their own experiences, the dog often calms down naturally.
Trust is built with patience and understanding, not force.
How to Help a Dog That Fears Touch
The answer isn’t to “force the dog to get used to it.” It’s about rebuilding trust — slowly, gently, and respectfully. Through desensitization, the dog learns that touch doesn’t mean threat, and that humans can be close without control or pressure. A good professional or a well-designed guide can help you work with dogs that fear handling or have lost their sense of safety.
What the Growl Really Means
A dog that growls when someone tries to pick it up is not “bad.” It’s saying: “I’m not sure. I don’t trust you yet.” Understanding, patience, and the family’s emotional stability can help the dog feel safe again — and rediscover that human touch is not a threat, but an expression of love and trust. This is the foundation of a healthy interspecies family.
At Integrative and Holistic Grooming Education, we teach that a growl is a conversation, not a conflict. Respecting a dog’s „no“ is the first step toward a deeper „yes.“ Learn to listen to your dog: Linktree Sasha Riess
by Sasha Riess | 20.03.26. | Behaviour
A hyperactive dog can be a real challenge for any owner. Their endless energy, jumping, and impulsive reactions often create stress and make daily life difficult. But there is a solution — with the right techniques, patience, and understanding, it’s possible to teach your dog calmness and build a stronger relationship.
Why Does a Dog Become Hyperactive?
A dog that seems hyperactive is usually reacting to external stimuli rather than learning how to respond to them. When a dog is in a reactive state, his brain is fully occupied with outside impressions — he jumps, pulls the leash, barks at other dogs or people, all depending on his perception of the world. In other words, the dog isn’t thinking — he’s reacting.
Our task as owners is to help him move from reaction to response, from impulse to awareness.
How to Teach Calmness
1. Don’t Reward Hyperactivity The most common mistake owners make is reacting right away when the dog gets too excited. For example, the dog jumps up when he sees the leash, overjoyed because he’s going for a walk. If you head out immediately, you’re actually rewarding his hyperactivity.
2. Leash Exercises One of the most effective techniques is to use the leash as a training tool, not just a signal for a walk.
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Take the leash and move it from one hand to the other.
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Clip it onto your dog, then remove it.
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Repeat this several times.
That way, the dog can’t predict what will happen next and learns that being calm is the only way to actually get what he wants — to go outside.
The leash is a training tool, not just a signal for a walk.
3. Teach Your Dog to Think, Not React The goal of this approach is to develop the dog’s ability to think instead of acting on instinct. When a dog learns not to anticipate your moves, he enters a state of learning. This is a physiological process — a dialogue between neurons — where every impulse can become action, but doesn’t have to. Through these small exercises, the dog becomes more stable, less reactive, and more willing to cooperate with his owner.
The Key: Patience and Consistency
Calming a hyperactive dog doesn’t happen overnight. It takes repetition, patience, and consistency. Over time, the dog learns that only calm behavior leads to reward — whether it’s a walk, playtime, or your attention. Through this process, the dog starts to rely on you, seeing you as the leader of the pack — and that gives him both security and peace.
At Integrative and Holistic Grooming Education, we teach that a calm mind leads to a calm body. Training is not about control, but about creating a shared language of peace. Explore our philosophy: Linktree Sasha Riess
by Sasha Riess | 04.03.26. | Behaviour
People often imagine that dogs socialize the same way we do. We think dogs enjoy going to the park, meeting other dogs, or visiting a neighbor. However, dogs do not function through that concept at all. In nature, there is no idea of one animal visiting another simply for socializing. This is why it is important to understand how dogs truly experience contact with other dogs.
Why Dogs Do Not Understand the Concept of Socializing
Dogs do not possess a social model similar to that of humans, so we cannot say that dogs socialize like humans in the way we understand it. There is nothing in their biology that supports the idea of someone coming or going from a space purely for companionship.
This concept feels normal to us, but to dogs, it is unclear and unnecessary. What matters to them is their environment, stability, and the relationship with their owner—not expanding a circle of acquaintances.
The Cost of Continuous Sensory Overload
When we constantly take them to other dogs, to crowded parks filled with unfamiliar animals, or to a neighbor “to socialize,” we are actually exposing them to continuous sensory overload. In those situations, the dog must repeatedly open all its sensory fields, assess safety, and search for emotional security again and again.
Frequent encounters force the dog into repeated cycles of assessment:
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Whether the other dog is safe.
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Whether it needs to defend itself or take control.
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Whether its owner is stable enough to provide protection.
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Whether safety can be found in another animal.
This is not socializing. This is a continuous activation of physiology that the dog usually does not need. Instead of calmness, the dog remains in a mode of analysis and survival, which exhausts both the body and emotions.
A dog does not seek the company of other dogs — it seeks security beside its human.
What a Dog Truly Wants
A dog does not want a “park friend” or a “social network” like humans have. A dog wants:
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Stability.
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Safety.
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An owner who is an emotional anchor.
When that exists, everything else becomes unnecessary. When we accept that dogs do not socialize like humans, it becomes much clearer what they genuinely need.
At Integrative and Holistic Grooming Education, we believe that every physical symptom is a message. Understanding these signals and addressing them through a holistic lens is at the heart of everything we teach to ensure the well-being of every dog in our care. Learn more and join our community: Linktree Sasha Riess
by Sasha Riess | 03.03.26. | Behaviour
Most people believe that a dog reacts only to commands, tone of voice, or training. But the truth is much deeper. Both dogs and young children feel far more of who we are than what we do. This is why a dog sometimes does not listen, a child does not respond, and it seems to us that they “do not understand.”
In reality, they understand much more than we would like to admit. How dogs and children react is a direct reflection of our inner state.
What Does a Dog Actually Sense?
A dog does not respond to our words but to the atmosphere we create. If we are nervous, insecure, angry, or afraid, the dog will feel it long before we acknowledge it to ourselves.
The issue is not the leash, the collar, the command, or the technique. The issue is the energy we bring into the relationship. Just as we do not need to walk a dog with a choke chain or an electronic collar, we also do not need to “break him with discipline.” A dog reacts to the entire environment shaped by us—to the way we move, speak, breathe, and approach.
Why Is It the Same with Young Children?
It is similar with children. They rarely react to what we tell them; they react to what they feel coming from us. If we are confused, tense, angry at ourselves, or afraid of life, they interpret it as their own insecurity.
They do not respond to our story but to our inner reality. And here lies the essence of the problem. We are often afraid to be who we truly are, so we wear masks. We perform calmness, confidence, and authority. But the dog and the child see right through it.
Children feel what we live, not what we say.
How One Sentence Can Change a Child’s Entire Life
A dog did not come to be your pet; he came to change your life. This applies to children as well. They do not learn from what we say; they learn from what we live. Understanding how dogs and children react to our lived truth can shift the entire family dynamic.
How to Change Their Response
There is only one way to change the behavior of a dog or a child: We must first change ourselves.
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Slow down: Speed creates tension.
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Release tension: Physical stiffness signals danger.
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Become present: They feel when we are mentally elsewhere.
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Stop hiding emotions: They sense the dissonance between our face and our heart.
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Stop sending mixed signals: Consistency comes from inner peace.
They react to truth, not performance. When we change, their behavior naturally changes with us.
At Integrative and Holistic Grooming Education, we believe that every physical symptom is a message. Understanding these signals and addressing them through a holistic lens is at the heart of everything we teach to ensure the well-being of every dog in our care. Learn more and join our community: Linktree Sasha Riess
by Sasha Riess | 13.02.26. | Emotions
Dogs may live in the present moment, but their reactions often reveal something much deeper: our anxiety, our fears, and the tension we suppress. When a dog looks worried, unsettled, or reacts without an obvious reason, it is often a reflection of negative projections coming from us, not from the dog.
Can Dogs Project Negative Outcomes?
Anxiety in dogs functions like the projection of a negative scenario into the future, even though a dog is not naturally a being that thinks ahead the way humans do. This leads to an essential question: How can a dog have a “negative future” in its mind if it does not think the way we do?
The answer is simple: A dog does not project its own future; a dog projects ours.
Dogs absorb our emotional tone, our tension, our unspoken fear, and every subtle shift in our energy. If the owner is worried, under pressure, internally chaotic, or carrying repressed anxiety, the dog feels it as if its own future is threatened. This is a primary driver of anxiety in dogs.
Why a Dog Carries the Emotion We Suppress
What is especially interesting is this: the more we believe we are calm while actually suppressing anxiety, the more the dog becomes tense.
Why? Because a dog has no filter. What is repressed in a human is active in a dog.
A dog reacts to what we try to hide:
While we rationalize, the dog feels. This is why it can seem as if a dog “thinks negatively,” when in reality, it is simply manifesting our inner world.
Dogs feel every unspoken emotion and tension within the family.
How to Recognize When a Dog Is Carrying Your Anxiety
The most common signs of anxiety in dogs that mirror human stress are:
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Restlessness without reason
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Stress twitches, sighing, trembling
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Avoiding contact or becoming overly attached
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Aggression that appears “out of nowhere”
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Hypervigilance, constantly scanning the environment
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Behaviors that resemble “fear of the future”
This is not the dog’s burden. It is the burden the dog has taken from us.
How to Help the Dog and Yourself
For a dog to be truly stable and free from anxiety in dogs, the owner must:
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Slow down their pace.
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Allow themselves to feel instead of suppressing.
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Lower expectations of the dog.
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Recognize their own stress.
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Restore emotional presence.
A dog does not need a perfect owner, only a present one. When a person returns to their authentic emotional state, the dog responds with immediate relief.
At Integrative and Holistic Grooming Education, we believe that every physical symptom is a message. Understanding these signals and addressing them through a holistic lens is at the heart of everything we teach to ensure the well-being of every dog in our care. Learn more about our Holistic Approach.
