by Sasha Riess | 05.03.26. | Behaviour
Dogs and the culture of conflict reveal that conflict is an inevitable part of life and that the way we respond to it shapes our relationships, boundaries, and personal growth. In the human world, conflict is often seen as a threat or the beginning of a fight, while animals show us that conflict can be a healthy signal, the start of change, and an opportunity for learning.
When we understand the natural logic of conflict, we more easily recognize the patterns we repeat and the lessons we avoid. Animals, especially dogs and horses, experience conflict very differently. Their instincts are clear, their reactions direct, and their relationships transparent. They give us the chance to see ourselves in a way we otherwise never could, without masks, without illusions, and without rationalizations.
This text is a journey through that mirror.
Why Humans Fight and Why Animals Don’t
Conflict among humans often comes from emotion and ego. Expectations and unspoken needs also play a major role. In nature, conflict is brief, functional, and solution-oriented rather than destructive.
How Dogs Build a Culture of Conflict Without Aggression
Dogs and horses do not have the concept of guilt. They have no need to prove they are better. Their behavior is a message about the state of the relationship, about misalignment, about misunderstanding. In that sense, they teach us something we constantly forget: conflict is not an attack, conflict is information.
When animals clash, they show boundaries clearly. They hold them. They respect them. And they move on. Humans, on the other hand, carry the same wounds, the same themes, and the same fears of abandonment or unworthiness for years.
Evolution and the Culture of Conflict
Our biology is not made for chronic conflict. Evolutionarily, conflict was short, energetic, and resolvable. Modern humans live in long-lasting emotional conflicts that stretch over months or decades. The body remains locked in tension, raising cortisol (the stress hormone), weakening the microbiome, and lowering the immune system.
This is where dogs become our teachers. Animals show us exactly how deeply the nervous system is connected to relationships.
What Dogs Teach Us About Our Nervous System
A dog does not react to our words. A dog reacts to our state. It feels our fear, our doubt, our hidden aggression, and the sadness we suppress. The dog is not a symptom. The dog is an indicator. What we manage to hide among humans, the dog sees instantly.
Dogs and the Culture of Conflict as a Mirror of Our Emotions
Dogs reflect our inner world clearly:
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If you become unsettled, the dog becomes unsettled.
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If you calm down, the dog calms down.
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If you hold a boundary, the dog relaxes.
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If you have no boundary, the dog begins to control.
The dog does not return your ego. It returns your unresolved emotional material.
Monty Roberts and a Lesson from the World of Horses
Monty Roberts teaches that a horse does not accept violence but accepts clarity. A horse flees from force but connects with stability. Dogs behave the same way. They enter the relationship only to the extent that we are mentally present.
When we have a clear identity, a clear boundary, and an emotionally regulated state, the dog follows us. When we are contradictory, fearful, or attempt to control through pressure, the dog resists, avoids, becomes anxious, or takes on responsibility it should never carry.
Animals show us what a pure relationship looks like without the conflict of ego.
Dogs and Emotions: How the Culture of Conflict Shapes Our Relationships
The dog carries the world we create for it: our rhythm, our stress, our way of solving problems, our unspoken emotions, our impatience, and our chaos. When dogs get sick, become nervous, or react impulsively, they are often carrying emotional weight that is not theirs. Many owners believe it is a behavioral problem, but most often it is a relational problem.
The Microbiome, Stress, and Why Dogs Somatize Our Choices
Chronic stress changes the microbiome in dogs just as it does in humans. Stress affects digestion, immunity, hormonal balance, behavior, and frustration tolerance. When a dog’s nervous system stays in survival mode, the body stops regenerating and functioning properly.
Science, Veterinary Medicine, and the Microbiome Through the Lens of Conflict
Veterinary medicine often treats the symptom instead of the cause. If a dog vomits, the stomach is treated. If a dog bites, training is prescribed. But in many cases, the deeper issue is a lack of secure attachment, a lack of leadership, or emotional instability in the home. This is when relational conflict becomes bodily conflict.
A dog shows us what a pure relationship looks like without the conflict of ego.
How to Develop a Culture of Healthy Conflict With Your Dog
Clarity brings safety. Boundaries bring stability. Silence brings peace. Predictability heals the dog’s nervous system. Relationships always come before technique. A dog wants you, not a trick.
Conclusion: Conflict as a Teacher
Conflict is not the enemy. Conflict is navigation. It shows where it hurts, where boundaries are missing, where you have abandoned yourself. Dogs teach us that conflict is resolved through presence.
At Integrative and Holistic Grooming Education, we believe that a healthy dog starts with an emotionally aware owner. Discover how to build a deeper, stress-free connection with your pet. Explore our resources: Linktree Sasha Riess
by Sasha Riess | 04.03.26. | Behaviour
People often imagine that dogs socialize the same way we do. We think dogs enjoy going to the park, meeting other dogs, or visiting a neighbor. However, dogs do not function through that concept at all. In nature, there is no idea of one animal visiting another simply for socializing. This is why it is important to understand how dogs truly experience contact with other dogs.
Why Dogs Do Not Understand the Concept of Socializing
Dogs do not possess a social model similar to that of humans, so we cannot say that dogs socialize like humans in the way we understand it. There is nothing in their biology that supports the idea of someone coming or going from a space purely for companionship.
This concept feels normal to us, but to dogs, it is unclear and unnecessary. What matters to them is their environment, stability, and the relationship with their owner—not expanding a circle of acquaintances.
The Cost of Continuous Sensory Overload
When we constantly take them to other dogs, to crowded parks filled with unfamiliar animals, or to a neighbor “to socialize,” we are actually exposing them to continuous sensory overload. In those situations, the dog must repeatedly open all its sensory fields, assess safety, and search for emotional security again and again.
Frequent encounters force the dog into repeated cycles of assessment:
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Whether the other dog is safe.
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Whether it needs to defend itself or take control.
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Whether its owner is stable enough to provide protection.
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Whether safety can be found in another animal.
This is not socializing. This is a continuous activation of physiology that the dog usually does not need. Instead of calmness, the dog remains in a mode of analysis and survival, which exhausts both the body and emotions.
A dog does not seek the company of other dogs — it seeks security beside its human.
What a Dog Truly Wants
A dog does not want a “park friend” or a “social network” like humans have. A dog wants:
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Stability.
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Safety.
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An owner who is an emotional anchor.
When that exists, everything else becomes unnecessary. When we accept that dogs do not socialize like humans, it becomes much clearer what they genuinely need.
At Integrative and Holistic Grooming Education, we believe that every physical symptom is a message. Understanding these signals and addressing them through a holistic lens is at the heart of everything we teach to ensure the well-being of every dog in our care. Learn more and join our community: Linktree Sasha Riess
by Sasha Riess | 03.03.26. | Behaviour
Most people believe that a dog reacts only to commands, tone of voice, or training. But the truth is much deeper. Both dogs and young children feel far more of who we are than what we do. This is why a dog sometimes does not listen, a child does not respond, and it seems to us that they “do not understand.”
In reality, they understand much more than we would like to admit. How dogs and children react is a direct reflection of our inner state.
What Does a Dog Actually Sense?
A dog does not respond to our words but to the atmosphere we create. If we are nervous, insecure, angry, or afraid, the dog will feel it long before we acknowledge it to ourselves.
The issue is not the leash, the collar, the command, or the technique. The issue is the energy we bring into the relationship. Just as we do not need to walk a dog with a choke chain or an electronic collar, we also do not need to “break him with discipline.” A dog reacts to the entire environment shaped by us—to the way we move, speak, breathe, and approach.
Why Is It the Same with Young Children?
It is similar with children. They rarely react to what we tell them; they react to what they feel coming from us. If we are confused, tense, angry at ourselves, or afraid of life, they interpret it as their own insecurity.
They do not respond to our story but to our inner reality. And here lies the essence of the problem. We are often afraid to be who we truly are, so we wear masks. We perform calmness, confidence, and authority. But the dog and the child see right through it.
Children feel what we live, not what we say.
How One Sentence Can Change a Child’s Entire Life
A dog did not come to be your pet; he came to change your life. This applies to children as well. They do not learn from what we say; they learn from what we live. Understanding how dogs and children react to our lived truth can shift the entire family dynamic.
How to Change Their Response
There is only one way to change the behavior of a dog or a child: We must first change ourselves.
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Slow down: Speed creates tension.
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Release tension: Physical stiffness signals danger.
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Become present: They feel when we are mentally elsewhere.
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Stop hiding emotions: They sense the dissonance between our face and our heart.
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Stop sending mixed signals: Consistency comes from inner peace.
They react to truth, not performance. When we change, their behavior naturally changes with us.
At Integrative and Holistic Grooming Education, we believe that every physical symptom is a message. Understanding these signals and addressing them through a holistic lens is at the heart of everything we teach to ensure the well-being of every dog in our care. Learn more and join our community: Linktree Sasha Riess
by Sasha Riess | 11.02.26. | Behaviour
Chronic Stress in Dogs Is Not a Momentary Fear
Chronic stress in dogs is not just a momentary fear or short term discomfort. It is a condition that quietly builds through our everyday actions. What surprises owners the most is that stress rarely comes from major events. It most often arises from small, repeated inconsistencies in human behavior around the dog.
When one family member allows something and another forbids the same behavior, the dog enters a state of constant confusion. Over time, this confusion turns into chronic stress in dogs, which can lead to serious physical and emotional disorders.
How Chronic Stress Develops in Dogs
Chronic stress most often develops when a dog cannot predict the consequences of its behavior. If the dog is sometimes punished and sometimes rewarded for the same action, it enters a state of insecurity.
A dog does not understand the difference between “mom allows it” and “dad does not allow it”. The dog only experiences that the same stimulus leads to completely different reactions. For the dog, this becomes an alarm that never turns off.
Inconsistent rules, shouting, unfair punishment, and sudden changes in owner behavior directly activate stress hormones. When this repeats day after day, the dog loses its sense of stability, and the body shifts into a state of constant tension. This is the physiological foundation of chronic stress in dogs.
Confusion as a Trigger for Serious Problems
A dog can appear obedient, calm, and affectionate, while still being deeply confused. Confusion is one of the most dangerous forms of emotional pressure in dogs because dogs do not have the ability to rationalize situations the way humans do.
If a dog is allowed on the bed one day and forbidden the next, if one family member feeds the dog from the table while another punishes it for the same behavior, the dog’s nervous system enters a chaotic survival mode.
This state can lead to:
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loss of energy and lethargy
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withdrawal and depressive behavior
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sudden aggressive outbursts
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psychosomatic illnesses
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weakened immunity and digestive problems
For a dog, confusion is not just discomfort. It is a state in which the body remains in constant physiological defense, as if danger is present at all times.
Chronic stress in dogs leads to both emotional and physical health issues.
How Family Disharmony Affects a Dog
Dogs live in the present moment. They do not process the past the way humans do, nor do they imagine the future. Their perception of the world exists entirely in the here and now. Even small inconsistencies within the family create inner chaos for the dog:
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one owner shouts, another stays calm
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one allows the dog on the bed, another forbids it
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one punishes a mistake, another rewards the same mistake with attention
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children allow behaviors that parents forbid
In such conditions, the dog no longer knows what is right and what is wrong. And when a dog does not know, it prepares itself for the worst-case scenario. This leads to constant activation of stress hormones such as cortisol and adrenaline. As a result, the dog may begin to behave unpredictably, becoming withdrawn, tense, fearful, or aggressive. Even sudden reactions in public spaces, such as snapping or rough play, are often rooted in accumulated confusion and chronic stress in dogs.
What Owners Can Do Immediately
To reduce chronic stress in dogs, the family must function as one clear voice. Not as several individuals with different rules, but as a unified structure the dog can understand.
The most important steps are:
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Agree on clear rules within the family
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Follow those rules consistently
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Avoid shouting and confusing punishment
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Provide routine and predictability
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Build the relationship through calmness and consistency
A dog does not seek perfect owners. It seeks consistency. Consistency creates safety, stability, and a healthy life without unnecessary stress.
At Integrative and Holistic Grooming Education, we believe that every physical symptom is a message. Understanding these signals and addressing them through a holistic lens is at the heart of everything we teach to ensure the well-being of every dog in our care. Learn more about our Holistic Approach.
by Sasha Riess | 10.02.26. | Behaviour
The Adopted Dog Is Still Aggressive: Understanding the Root of the Problem
When a dog comes from the street, from abuse, or from neglect, many people expect that love and care will automatically heal all his wounds. However, aggressive behavior often remains precisely because the dog brings deeply ingrained survival patterns with him.
Dogs, like children with parents, develop affective attachment. This emotional bond can be secure or insecure. When attachment is insecure, it most often shows through:
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Withdrawal
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Anxiety
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Overprotective behavior
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Fear-based aggression
For aggression to decrease, the dog must move from insecure to secure affective attachment.
Why Does an Adopted Dog Become Aggressive?
A dog who has lived without stability, safety, or protection has learned to survive on his own. When we rescue him, feed him, give him a home, and offer love, he sees it, but he does not automatically feel safe.
Until he feels safe in your presence, he worries about you. And when a dog worries about a human, he enters a state of constant tension and responsibility, which easily leads to aggression:
His aggression is not bad intention. It is an expression of fear and old wounds.
Trust is built through consistency, rituals, and calm leadership.
How to Help a Dog Develop Secure Affective Attachment
For a dog to move from insecurity to safety, he must understand that protecting you is not his job. Your role is to become:
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Stable
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Consistent
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Predictable
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A calm leader
Through clear rituals and routines, the dog learns that:
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The human makes decisions
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The human leads
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The human provides safety
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He does not need to react aggressively
When the dog feels that control is no longer on his shoulders, he begins to relax. Only then can he develop secure affective attachment, a relationship in which he knows you are there to protect him, guide him, and set boundaries. At that point, the dog no longer reacts out of fear, but out of trust.
Rituals That Restore a Sense of Safety
It is recommended to introduce rituals that strengthen security:
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Clear signals and routines
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Daily structure
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Short obedience exercises without pressure
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Limited access to space until stability is built
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Calm walks without overstimulation
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Your emotional leadership
When a dog understands that a human provides protection, food, direction, and stability, he stops carrying the burden of responsibility. And aggression, which once served as a survival tool, slowly fades away.
At Integrative and Holistic Grooming Education, we believe that every physical symptom is a message. Understanding these signals and addressing them through a holistic lens is at the heart of everything we teach to ensure the well-being of every dog in our care.
by Sasha Riess | 09.02.26. | Behaviour
The moment you start asking yourself why your dog seems restless, sad, or anxious, remember one thing: A dog would never do what we do to ourselves every single day. This is exactly why a dog so clearly feels every inner lie, every fracture, and every self-betrayal.
A Dog Feels Your Energetic Signature
To a dog, everything matters. They don’t hear your words; they feel the energetic signature of your decisions. They watch you as you:
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Go to a job you hate.
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Stay in a marriage where there is no love, only habit or fear.
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Attend social events with people you dislike, wearing a mask of politeness.
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Sacrifice your peace just to „show respect“ or maintain appearances.
The dog sees all of it. Reads all of it. Feels all of it.
Animals Live in Harmony; Humans Live in Conflict
No animal in nature would ever live against itself. A dog would never:
An animal lives in harmony with its own being. A human, however, often lives in a constant state of internal conflict.
A dog does not hear your words; it feels the energy of your decisions.
Your Dog Feels Your Inner Dishonesty
When you finally turn toward your own life and ask:
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How honest am I with myself?
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How honest am I with those I love?
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Who am I pretending to be?
You will realize that the greatest suffering doesn’t come from the outside, but from the betrayal of your own truth. Your dog suffers with you not because you are „bad,“ but because the dog sees what you are trying to hide.
A mask can deceive people, and makeup can hide a sleepless night—but a dog can never be deceived.
This profound connection between human integrity and canine well-being is the foundation of our work. At Integrative and Holistic Grooming Education, we teach you how to achieve the systemic balance that allows both you and your dog to live authentically and healthily.
