There was a time when we truly lived. Breathed. Existed as part of a world that didn’t ask us to prove love, worth, or meaning through what we own or achieve. Today, in an age of performance and self-promotion, it seems we have lost the ability to love simply, without needing to see ourselves reflected in the eyes of others.
Life Then and Now – When We Knew How to Feel
In the past, we relied on one another, in both pain and joy. We knew that not everything had to be easy, and that true connections were not always pleasant, but they were real. Today, however, we run away from conflict, uncertainty, and everything that reminds us of our vulnerability. In that silence, in that escape from ourselves, a dog often appears.
The Dog as a Substitute for Human Closeness
That is why today, more and more often, a dog sits across from a person in a restaurant. The dog listens, does not interrupt, does not judge. It asks for no explanation. It is easy to love such a being, one that never says no, never demands reciprocity, and never sets boundaries.
Anthropomorphism – When a Dog Becomes “Human”
In anthropomorphism, the process through which we assign human qualities to animals, lies the essence of our modern relationship with dogs. The dog becomes our emotional extension, the one through whom we live everything we cannot express ourselves. It becomes our child, our partner, our therapist.
The Dog Did Not Come to Be Your Pet, It Came to Change Your Life
A dog does not set boundaries. It does not force us to change. That is why it is the perfect companion for a generation that runs from pain, imperfection, and unpredictability. Our society functions more and more as a space where emotions are treated as discomfort to be avoided, not lived.
A dog’s gaze revealing the connection between a person and their emotions.
Loneliness as the New Norm
Loneliness has become a lifestyle. People work, communicate, and love through screens, while the dog becomes physical proof that we are not alone, at least on the outside. In its eyes, we seek the peace we cannot find in human relationships.
Perfect Relationships with Dogs – The Instagram Illusion
On Instagram, the dog wears a birthday hat, surrounded by balloons and cakes. On TikTok, it “talks” about its feelings. The dog becomes the main character in our emotional marketing, and we become the audience to our own lack of connection.
Dogs Take On Our Emotions
Dogs increasingly show symptoms that are not their own: anxiety, depression, stress. These are not their problems; they are reflections of ours. They become mirrors, our emotional extensions, carriers of everything we do not know how to process.
When the Dog Becomes Our Shield from the World
They enter places that are not theirs—airplanes, hotels, restaurants—not because they want to, but because we no longer know how to be alone. The dog becomes our protection, our boundary, our excuse, and our comfort, all in one.
How to Break the Cycle
So what now? How do we escape this circle of emotional dependency? Not by loving our dog less, but by learning to love ourselves more, sincerely, vulnerably, and without hiding behind someone’s unconditional love.
The loneliness of modern humans through the eyes of a dog.
Small Rituals That Restore Presence
That is why we created a guidebook, not as an absolute truth but as a tool. Small rituals that bring us back to presence: shared breathing, silence without words, a gaze without the need for validation. In those moments, the dog stops carrying our pain and becomes what it truly is—a being that reminds us what it means to be alive.
Presence as Medicine
Presence is not a state, it is a practice. Every day, the dog reminds us that everything we are searching for already exists within us. When we realize that, our relationship with the dog is no longer an escape from the world but a return to it. This is the path of the human dog relationship.
Silence that connects – a moment of sincere presence between a human and a dog.
At Integrative and Holistic Grooming Education, we believe that true love doesn’t hide behind a leash. It faces the mirror of the soul. Find your balance and return to presence: Linktree Sasha Riess
Why is a dog a reflection of its owner? When a dog shows problematic behavior, it is never the dog’s problem. It is our reflection. The dog is not asking us to change him. He is asking us to change ourselves.
What Does It Mean That the Dog Mirrors the Owner
I often hear people say that they have a problematic dog. But the truth is that the dog is never the problem. The dog is our mirror. He senses our tension, our restlessness, and our insecurity. If a dog shows behavior we dislike, it is not a sign that the dog needs correction. It is a sign that we must first look within ourselves, because the dog mirrors the owner.
When I am not honest with myself, my dog cannot be calm. When I am tense, he becomes tight. When I am out of balance, he lives that imbalance with me.
Why We Try to Fix the Dog When the Dog Mirrors Us
People often turn to trainers, manuals, and new techniques, hoping to “fix the dog” without understanding that the dog is simply their mirror. The dog does not ask for correction. The dog asks for authenticity.
Just as a child is not responsible for how a parent feels, the dog is not the cause of the problem. The dog is the consequence. When we change ourselves, the dog changes with us. This is what I call a holistic approach.
The dog is not a correction, but a consequence—a reflection of your authenticity.
The Holistic Perspective We Often Miss
Medicine and veterinary science often look only at the symptom, without seeing the bigger picture. But life is not a sum of disconnected parts. The soul, emotions, and body are connected.
That is why solving only the consequence is not enough: barking, pulling on the leash, or digestive issues. If truth and inner change are missing, no trainer or expensive manual will help.
Truth and Authenticity as the Key to Change
We already have all the tools we need. What is often missing is truth. When we add truth to what we do, the dog responds and everything falls into place. Just like a child does not become happy when we try to “fix” it, but when the parent finds inner balance, the same is true for the dog. The dog is the result of our energy.
The Dog Is Not Your Problem. The Dog Is Your Indicator
If you want the dog to change, you must first change yourself. This is the hardest, yet the only path to true harmony with your dog. This is the ultimate truth of the human dog relationship.
At Integrative and Holistic Grooming Education, we believe that the leash works both ways. To lead your dog to peace, you must first find it within yourself. Discover the path to true authenticity:Linktree Sasha Riess
The inspiration for this column came one afternoon while sitting in a café, witnessing a scene that exposed the cruelty and hypocrisy of our system.
Rescuing dogs and understanding their nature often reveals how far we are from true empathy — and how deeply dogs and human childhood trauma can intertwine through shared, unhealed pain.
Invisible Discrimination Against Dogs
A young woman entered quietly with her dog—a strong, muscular breed, perhaps a Staffordshire Terrier or a Pit Bull. The dog made no noise, reacted to no one, and just rested his head on her leg.
Despite this, a waiter asked them to leave because guests „didn’t feel safe.“ Meanwhile, a barking, lunging Pomeranian on the other side of the café was met with laughter and pictures.
So what was truly dangerous in that scene? The dog — or our perception of what danger looks like?
A look that shatters prejudices—a dog is not genetic evil, but a reflection of human misunderstanding.
The Myth of “Dangerous Breeds”
Dr. Karen Overall, a veterinary behaviorist, analyzed 15,000 cases of dog bites. The results were striking:
84% of bites were caused by dogs that had never shown aggression before.
67% of bites came from dogs under 20 kg.
Pit Bulls, Dobermans, and Rottweilers together accounted for less than 12% of all incidents.
Rescuing dogs unfairly labeled as “dangerous” is therefore not just an act of kindness — it’s a moral stance.
The Roots of Eugenics and the Idea of a “Pure Breed”
Banning specific breeds isn’t about safety — it’s an admission of ignorance. When we don’t know how to educate owners, we ban dogs. The list of “dangerous breeds” is a symptom of a society still echoing the ideology of eugenics. Rescuing dogs in this context is truly a fight for the freedom of all living beings.
Aggression Is Not Inborn — It’s a Consequence
Aggression is not a trait, nor a disorder — it’s a consequence. Dr. Jaak Panksepp discovered that aggression in mammals is triggered when there’s a perceived threat and no alternative escape. Dogs don’t fight because they’re “evil” — they fight because they see no other way out. In many cases, canine aggression mirrors unresolved trauma from the human owner.
The Emotional Field and Inner Healing
Our emotions create an energetic field that dogs can sense. Dr. Rollin McCraty proved that the heart emits a field 60 times stronger than the brain. That’s why true dog rescue doesn’t begin in shelters — it begins within us. When we heal our own pain, the dog no longer has to carry it.
The Dog as a Mirror of Society
Aggression is everywhere — in wars, on streets, in homes. But when it surfaces, we project it outward onto others, or onto dogs. A dog that growls is often not the problem — but the only one who can no longer stay silent.
The Path of Change — The Philosophy of Pure Love and Harmony
Rescuing dogs and rebuilding trust begins through four steps:
Recognition – instead of labeling, ask: “What is the dog trying to tell me?”
Responsibility – take ownership of your own energy.
Transformation – by changing ourselves, we transform the dog’s space.
Harmony – build relationships through understanding, not control.
Understanding instead of judgment – a shared path toward shattering the myth of genetic evil.
Saving Dogs as a Mirror of Human Awareness
If we want real change, we don’t need to change dogs — we need to change ourselves. Rescuing dogs is a symbol of rescuing empathy, awareness, and love in a world that fears difference. A dog is not a reflection of genetic evil — but of our collective pain and our capacity to heal. This is the foundation of the human dog relationship.
At Integrative and Holistic Grooming Education, we believe that no breed is born with a label. We look past the muzzle to find the soul. Join us in transforming the way the world sees dogs: Linktree Sasha Riess
The connection between a dog and a person’s childhood trauma runs deeper than most people think. A dog often becomes a silent witness to our pain, a guardian of memories, and a reflection of what we lived through as children. Their love is not only comforting. It is a mirror through which we can recognize and understand our own vulnerability.
How a Dog Reflects the Childhood Trauma of Its Owner
“What are you talking about? Of course a dog needs to be trained. Especially if it lives in an apartment and is a large breed. Just like children go to school.”
This is not the first time I have heard this comment. I receive it every time I say that dogs should not be trained. And each time it hurts, not because it is offensive, but because it is an authentic expression of pain. Our collective pain. The way we ourselves were trained. And the way we continue to train others because we believe that is what love looks like.
Love as a Justification for Abuse
Sometimes the only way to survive abuse, whether emotional, physical, or psychological, is to fall in love with our abusers. To justify their actions. To believe it is for our own good. And if we live long enough inside that belief, one day we will start to take pride in being “well raised.” Then we will begin doing the same to our dogs or even our children, because it is the only way we ever learned to love, the only way we were ever loved.
Research: How Owner Behavior Influences Canine Physiology
A year ago we started a study titled “The Influence of Changes in Owner Behavior on the Physiology of Their Dogs.” The goal was to determine whether changes in owner behavior could create long term biochemical changes in dogs. Instead of focusing only on behavior, we analyzed physiology using HTMA hair analysis, a method that measures mineral and toxic metal accumulation in the hair, revealing metabolic patterns during the period in which the hair grew.
The Mineral Shell: A Physical Indicator of Chronic Stress in Dogs
The results were striking, though not unexpected. Dogs living in environments with chronically elevated stress in their owners, and whose owners were unable to change their life circumstances, showed specific patterns of biochemical adaptation. One of the most notable findings was the “mineral shell” phenomenon, where certain minerals, most often calcium, and toxic metals accumulate excessively in tissues. This indicates suppressed adrenal function, long lasting stress, and a metabolic withdrawal from the environment. The body literally shuts down, creating a physiological shield against surroundings it perceives as unbearable.
In the silence between human and dog, often lies what words cannot say.
Behavior as a Reflection of the Owner’s Inner State
In the behavior of these dogs, patterns of hyperactivity, compulsive barking, leash pulling, and signs of inhibition were observed. Emotional withdrawal, loss of interest, and profound fatigue were common. Neurochemically, their bodies operate in chronic survival mode: reduced regeneration, increased reactivity, and blocked adaptive functions.
Change Through the Owner’s Stability: Results of the Harmony Manual
In contrast, dogs whose owners applied principles from the Harmony Manual program showed entirely different patterns. In a more stable and predictable environment, these dogs demonstrated increased magnesium and potassium levels, essential for balancing the autonomic nervous system and supporting regeneration. Sodium levels decreased, indicating reduced systemic stress.
In the Silence Between Humans and Dogs, Much Is Said Without Words
The most important point is that the change did not come from external correction of behavior, but from internal reorganization. These dogs were not trained to stop barking or to obey commands. Through the emotional stability and safety created by their owners, they spontaneously began behaving differently. Their nervous systems left survival mode and activated the functions of exploration, learning, and rest.
Trauma Versus Learning: Why Force Cannot Change the Core
The only way to influence someone’s behavior from the outside is through trauma. External pressure, coercion, or intimidation does not change inner motivation. It only adjusts behavior to avoid pain or punishment. Such change is not the result of free will but a survival mechanism, a physiological adaptation to a threatening environment. Its effects remain deeply recorded in the nervous system and can lead to long term damage.
Learning as an Expression of Freedom: When a Dog Learns From Safety
Learning is the expression of free will. It requires safety, internal stability, and a physiological state capable of exploring and engaging with the world. Only then can the body develop the functions needed for active participation in life. True learning allows spontaneous regulation of behavior, integration of new experiences, and adaptation without harming the integrity of the body.
Pavlov, Watson, and the History of Conditioning
Many modern dog behaviorists still refer to Pavlov’s experiment as the basis for so called “positive conditioning.” Yet Pavlov himself emphasized that his method does not teach learning but reflex. Withholding food when a dog does not perform what is expected is a form of controlled deprivation. It is a manipulation that resembles emotional blackmail. It is trauma of low intensity, but chronic in nature. Training is trauma.
Watson on Learning: The Difference Between Conditioning and Real Development
Watson’s experiment with Little Albert reminds us that conditioning is not learning. The child, conditioned to fear all white and soft objects, later showed neurological problems and died at the age of nine. Many scientists linked the trauma of the experiment to the deterioration of his condition. Today, with knowledge from neuroplasticity, neuroscience, affective attachment theory, and the influence of environment on physiology, it is clear that the consequences of such conditioning align with the modern understanding of trauma.
When a dog releases tension, we learn how to live without fear.
Reexamining the Relationship: Are We Training or Traumatizing
As far back as 1907, Watson wrote in his dissertation “The Education of Animals” about the difference between conditioning and learning. Conditioning produces a mechanical response to external stimuli. Real learning involves the creation of new neural pathways in the cerebral cortex. It changes the gray structures of the brain and the physiology that underlies behavior. These changes occur only through free will, inner motivation, and safety. Inspired learning builds a physiological foundation for growth, understanding, and emotional connection. Forced learning creates only reflex, never development.
When a dog releases tension, we learn how to live without fear.
Reconsidering Our Relationship With Dogs
So I ask: are we doing the same to our dogs? We train them to sit, to stay quiet, to stop barking, to stop pulling, to stop existing. And when they stop “misbehaving,” when they become calm and obedient, we celebrate our success. But what we are celebrating is a frozen trauma. Chronic stress. Psychophysiological collapse that, just like in Little Albert, may not be visible immediately but will one day demand a price.
Pure Love and Harmony: A Call for True Change
Pure Love and Harmony is not a method. It is an invitation to reflect. To create an environment where a dog can breathe next to us, explore, feel, and develop.
Life Beyond Survival Mode: Returning to Warmth and Peace
As long as we replace love with control and obedience with fear, we will never know how light and peaceful life can be when it is not lived in survival mode. For us. And for them.
At Integrative and Holistic Grooming Education, we believe that healing the bond means healing ourselves. When we step out of the cycle of training and into the space of connection, we find true harmony. Learn more about our research and philosophy: Linktree Sasha Riess
Dogs teach us that pain is not the end but a doorway into a deeper relationship with ourselves, with others, and with life. They show us how suffering as a path and pain shape our lives and our bond with a dog. We try to escape suffering as if it were the enemy, but once we acknowledge it, it transforms into a path that leads us back to love.
Dogs know this better than we do. Their eyes hold no judgment, even when it hurts.
Pain and Suffering: How They Shape the Dog and Our Relationship
Today I want to explore a word that makes most people uncomfortable: suffering. We would prefer to avoid it, hide it, push it away somewhere we cannot see it, as if that would neutralize it. But the truth is different. Suffering finds us even when we do not look for it. It sits beside us, enters our relationships, our bodies, our breath. And the more we push it away, the more tightly it holds us.
Maybe it is time to turn our gaze around. Maybe suffering as a path is not the enemy, but a road we walk not because we want to, but because it is part of life.
How Suffering Shapes the Dog Within the Order of Harmony
In the Order of Harmony, suffering has its rightful place. It is not random, not a punishment, not an unfortunate accident that “just happened.” Suffering appears when life demands that something within us stops and looks. When we run from it, it becomes louder. When we agree to face it, it begins to change.
The Dog as a Mirror: How Suffering Shapes Both Dog and Human
A dog in the home is often the first to show that suffering has entered the space between people. He does not speak our language, but he reveals it through his body and behavior. The dog does not “invent” a problem. He announces the pain that already exists. Suffering then stops being individual. It becomes relational.
Acceptance as the Beginning of Change
We often believe that we can overcome suffering through strength of will. That we can push through, endure, hold ourselves together. But will alone does not bring peace. Will becomes tired, breaks, burns out. Suffering as a path does not melt through force, but through acceptance. Acceptance does not mean approval or passivity. It means saying: “Yes, you are here. I acknowledge you.”
Once we acknowledge suffering, it no longer hides, and therefore no longer controls us from the shadows.
A dog does not invent the problem—he announces it for all of us.
How Suffering Shapes the Dog Through Family Life
In the Pure Love and Harmony philosophy, suffering is not the end of the road but a doorway. A doorway we step through to reach the inner space where love is no longer tied to expectations, but to its true essence. Through pain, love often becomes pure. A dog, who walks alongside a human through suffering, demands no justification. He simply is. And in his simple presence lies the lesson: love does not end because pain exists. On the contrary, through pain love becomes true.
Suffering Shapes the Dog Long Before We Notice It
Many people ask: “Why do dogs suffer? They do not deserve pain.” The truth is that a dog is not just an individual. He is part of a relationship, part of a family. He carries what others cannot. His suffering often becomes a mirror of our own. He reveals what we hide. When we acknowledge our own pain and the dog’s pain, suffering as a path becomes a way of connection. Not something that separates us, but something that brings us closer.
Acceptance as the Beginning of Transformation
Suffering as a path is not easy. It teaches silence. It teaches us to go beneath words and explanations, to release the need to fix everything, and simply be present. Life is not only joy and ascents, but also falls, emptiness, and extremes. In that school, the dog is the teacher. His gaze contains no judgment. When he suffers, he does not ask “Why me?” He simply walks through it.
The Third Wave: Suffering Shapes the Dog and Cannot Be Overcome by Will
In the Order of Harmony, suffering has its place. No longer hidden, no longer exiled. When we say “yes” to suffering, we open the door to peace. Because beyond pain comes silence. And in that silence, we discover that we are not alone.
This is where the Third Wave of Dog Evolution gains its full meaning. In the first wave, we viewed dogs as heroes who protect us. In the second wave, we turned them into images of our desires. In the third wave, they become our companions in harmony, in joy and in suffering. They teach us that love is not always easy, but through pain it can become authentic.
In silence, a dog reveals what we often cannot admit to ourselves.
Suffering as a Path to Harmony in Life
Suffering is not the end, but a path. A path that leads us through darkness so we can find the light. A path that teaches us that love and pain are not opposites, but two sides of the same life. Suffering can make us bitter, but once we accept it, it can make us gentle. And gentleness, in a world that constantly demands strength, may be the greatest courage of all.
By acknowledging everything that exists, both joy and pain, we create space for true harmony. And then the dog is no longer just a dog. He becomes a guide, a reminder that we are already on our path, and that only one thing remains: to say “yes to life.”
At Integrative and Holistic Grooming Education, we believe that accepting every part of the journey is the only way to reach true balance. When we acknowledge the pain, we find the harmony. Explore our philosophy: Linktree Sasha Riess
I once believed that rescuing dogs was the purest act of love. I watched people who fed dozens of dogs, slept among them, gave up everything for them — and I thought: this is devotion, this is goodness. But over time, after observing, listening, and questioning myself, I began to wonder: Who is really saving whom? Within the human dog relationship, is taking in one more dog into an overcrowded yard truly love — or is it my own cry for something I never received? Is it an attempt to prove my worth in a world that often failed to see me?
The Order of Love and Harmony in Rescue
I came to understand that love isn’t just emotion or impulse — it has order. Among humans it’s called The Order of Love. With dogs, it becomes The Order of Harmony. These cosmic laws never punish — they simply restore balance. Every time we cross a boundary, something is taken in return. When love exceeds its natural limits, it becomes obsession, control, compensation — disease. And I too was part of that system, believing I was doing good, unaware that every excess in rescuing dogs can consume both the rescuer and the rescued.
The Trap of the Donation System
Like many involved in rescue, I’ve seen how survival often depends on donations — heartbreaking photos, videos of wounded dogs, public calls for help. It becomes a kind of currency — the currency of survival. But this system quickly turns into a vicious circle. There’s never enough — not for the dogs already there, nor for the new mouths arriving each day. Food becomes the cheapest kibble, often expired, or cans made from scraps — what couldn’t be sold becomes “charity.” Dogs in such systems don’t live — they merely survive, stripped of dignity.
Behind every rescue post lies a daily struggle for food, health, and the survival of the dogs.
What a Dog Really Needs to Be Happy
A dog needs more than food and water. His well-being depends on safety, structure, social interaction, and love — not sentimental love, but practical, daily presence. But how can one person provide that for thirty, forty, or fifty dogs? In such conditions, a dog stops being a being. He becomes a number, a function, a projection. Unconsciously, he turns into a symbol of what we lack. When the number of dogs surpasses the depth of connection, love disappears — chaos remains.
The Message Behind Every Dog
Still, I believe each dog arrives for a reason. Even in the midst of chaos, each one carries a message — a fragment of the caretaker’s unspoken story. Over the years, I’ve met people rescuing dogs with genuine hearts and noble intentions. I once shared that belief completely. But now I see that behind every “one more dog” there is often something deeper — something not about the dogs, but about us.
The Glorification of Rescue and Its Burden
What struck me most is how society glorifies this kind of sacrifice. On social media, rescuing dogs earns applause, likes, and admiration. Young people, inspired by the idea of selfless devotion, enter this world without the tools to withstand it. I’ve watched them lose their health, their identity — sometimes even their lives. At first glance, they are heroes — people who give up peace, money, and relationships for dogs. And I wanted to be one of them. But through the Order of Harmony, I’ve learned that behind every excess lies a deficit. Behind every dog, there is often a person who has lost a piece of themselves.
The Dog as a Reflection of Our Emptiness
The principle of respect teaches us that every being has its own purpose and essence. A dog is a creature with dignity — needing space, rhythm, and clarity. When I unconsciously turn him into a symbol of my emptiness, I stop seeing him as a dog. He becomes a mirror of my need. And the dog, in his unconditional love, often accepts that role — even to his own detriment. I’ve seen people surrounded by dogs while their bodies collapse, their relationships fade, their lives revolve only around rescue. I’ve been close to that edge myself, until I stopped and asked: What am I really doing?
A dog often becomes a mirror of our internal wounds and the silences we carry within ourselves.
Who Are We Really Saving — Them or Ourselves?
Through conversations, silence, and self-reflection, I began to see: Dogs often become substitutes for something else — for love I never received, for grief I never mourned, for a part of myself I never accepted. Each dog can unconsciously become a symbol of something lost that I’m trying to reclaim. But the system always seeks balance — not as punishment, but as consequence. So I started asking myself: Whom am I really saving? What am I trying to find through one more rescue?
The Dog as a Call — Not an Answer
I realized that a dog is not the answer. A dog is a call — a call to return to order, to be present, clear, and consistent. A call to recognize the line between genuine love and the unconscious need to patch my own unrest. Only when I see the dog as a dog — not as a projection of my wounds — can I truly love him. Only then can I honor his dignity, his needs, his life.
Stopping Out of Respect
Before taking in another dog, I now pause — not out of fear, but out of respect. Maybe that dog didn’t come to stay. Maybe he came to show me what in me still needs to be seen. And perhaps, when I learn to say “enough,” I’ll finally find what I was searching for all along — peace with myself, my own wholeness. So before I rescue another dog, I ask: Am I ready to rescue myself first?
At Integrative and Holistic Grooming Education, we believe that precision in our actions is a reflection of our internal balance. When we lead with harmony, we heal the soul. Explore our philosophy: Linktree Sasha Riess
